Wanna know how to get your husband to remember your birthday, anniversary, Valentine's Day, or other special occasion? I have a novel idea for you, that has worked well for me these past 7 years.
Tell him!
My husband is horrible with calendars. His mind just simply doesn't work that way. Quiz him on the date of my birthday and, given some time to think, he will probably get it. Ask him how far away that is and he will have no clue (He would need time to figure out which month we were in first). He just lives each day one at a time and counts on me, his faithful PDA wife to keep him from missing planned events.
I, however, could tell you the birth date of my elementary school friend whom I haven't seen in over 15 years (can your PDA do that?). And to top it off, I LOVE holidays. I continually look forward to the next holiday... we've had Flag Day celebrations and cinco de Mayo dinners... but birthdays are the biggest deal of all. (With Jesus' birth at Christmas being the number 1 celebrated event at our house)! 
My excitement for my birthday is very similar to that of my 4 year old sons for his own. I really am looking that much forward to it. I don't know what it is, but I have always been that way. I love my birthday and love celebrating it. I just think it is so cool that it is your day, the day you were born. (Perhaps this makes me a bit self centered).
Now, I could say, "Well, if he really loved me, he'd just remember my birthday." But, what kind of PDA would I be if I told him everything but the dates I cared about? And what good does that do me? I know without a doubt that my husband loves me deeply. I also know that if I didn't mention that my birthday was coming he'd get to the day or or day after and have to enter a date on something and suddenly realize he's in trouble. Would this make me happier on my birthday?
Instead, I tell him. About a month before I say, "My birthday is in a month." About two weeks before (right about the time when I know shipping dates for online ordering start to matter) I say something again. I actually do the same for him. He would seriously have no idea that his birthday was only one month away if I didn't start counting down for him in late April (I can't even fathom such a lack of anticipation).
This could seem to some like nagging, but I can honestly say it isn't. I remember our first summer of married life we were about 5 weeks from my birthday and I brought it up (not as a reminder but b/c I was just excited that it was coming up in 5 weeks) and I said something like, "I don't think your excited enough about my birthday... it's only 5 weeks away!" This totally made my husband laugh.
In honor of my birthday this week, I wanted to share what works for me with wives who have husbands that may not think in terms of days and months. Lovingly remind him of the day, give him ample warning to prepare, and then enjoy your special day. To find out what works for others, check out Rocks in My Dryer.
I'm the exact same way! I get SOOOOOO excited about my birthday! Yours is usually when the countdown begins, since we're about a month apart!
ReplyDeleteTesting, testing, 1,2,3... okay, your comments seem to be working fine now :) I just leave my husband messages on his phone. Set the alarm to go off for the message every couple of hours (j/k).
ReplyDeleteThis is so true. What are we really doing when we keep it all inside just so we can PROVE he didn't remember? It only hurts everyone. :)
ReplyDeleteThat is so true! Men are not going to remember, and it's not that they don't care. They aren't programmed that way. Most, anyway. And most are calendar illiterate. This idea works for me, too!
ReplyDeleteYou are so right. This year, nothing was said as my birthday approached....and guess what? He forgot. And guess how many people felt really really bad?
ReplyDeleteNow I just post a big calendar where he can see it so he'll remember.
I am afraid he comes by it honestly - through his Mother. His Dad remembers, his Mom wants to. She even puts in her PDA (7days early-so she doesn't forget.) But when the reminder comes up she think, "Good, I want to get a gift early and a card. . . . Then it slips her mind. if she's lucky her husband reminds her a day or two before it's totally to late. And then the day of. I am so pathetic. Love me anyway, please. 8-( --> 8-)
ReplyDeleteAlready do this :) I learned early on in my marraige to Mr. Querido that he isn't one for dates. Just the other night, we had friends over and he was talking about Miss Precious. They asked him how old she was and when her birthday was.....all I saw was the blank look on his face...lol! Poor guy! They teased him mercilessly too :)
ReplyDelete"Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Crystal....... happy birthday to you!" I know it's not the same on-line as it is in person, but it's the best I can do for now. Love you and have a grrrreat day!!!
ReplyDeleteThat is so funny!
ReplyDeleteMy husband's good about remembering, but if he didn't, I would so tell him.
Good one!
sometimes it's those little tricks of being being married that make things happier! i hope you enjoyed our breakfast in bed. happy birthday!
ReplyDeleteI always tell my husband when my birthday is coming and I even go one step more and tell him exactly what I want!
ReplyDeleteI tend to be on the forgetful side. So Happy Birthday, because I won't remember after this. Even though I want to. Caleigh's is on Friday and I will still be out at the last minute.
ReplyDeleteOh we need a whole lot more of these type of posts! So many women "test" their husbands to see if they love them. If you give them tests, more than likely they're going to fail, and I don't want to be the set up for that! I wouldn't want him to "test" me in petty ways where I surely can't win. I am sure he loves you even more for being his true helpmate. I applaud you.
ReplyDelete