Dinner time….the family all gathered around the table, enjoying a delicious meal, talking about the day, laughing and enjoying one another…statistics say that families that consistently eat dinner together tend to raise healthier, more well behaved children, then families that don’t. So, what are we doing wrong?
More often than not the Circus Family eats breakfast and dinner together as a family. More often than not our dinner “hour” is more like a dinner hour and a half. I wish I could say it as because of our scintillating conversations. However, my kids are what I fear the slooooowest eaters on the eastern seaboard. (unless it’s dessert or some other food they particularly enjoy). But give them chicken and you can pretty much forget about doing anything other than getting ready for bed after dinner that night.
This causes great frustration to my husband and I. The kids and I typically wait for Scott to get home so we can eat together. This means we usually sit down around 6:00 for dinner. If the kids stretch things out the average 1.5 hrs than we aren’t getting up till around 7:30. Leaving us no time for that walk around the neighborhood, or trip to the park after dinner. It’s usually just time for a little playing on the floor and then teeth brushing, fluoride, and bedtime stories. Scott would love to have more time to spend playing with the kids rather than watching them stare at their plates.
We have tried various tactics to shorten the time around the table. They have worked to various degrees. My question for you all, is “how long?”
How long does dinner typically take your family? Am I alone on this or is it merely par for the course at this stage of our family life?
We don't force her to stay and eat but her food is put up on the counter or in the oven or microwave to keep it safe from cats if its something they are likely to be interested in. If she wants something else to eat before bed she gets her dinner. If they have a lot of variation for lunches you don't need to worry about nutrition, particularly if you give vitamins too. Its just not worth the stress for us to fight with her and we don't want to create the habit of eating if she really isn't hungry. But she can't leave the table before Mommy and Daddy are done.
ReplyDeleteIf they are eating because they Want to just really slowly I'd do the same thing you do with the mornings give them a time and tell them it needs to be done by then and then you are going to do X fun thing after, and stick to it. They wont starve from one or two shortened meals.
We had that season in our household, but we have seemed to outgrow it. With oldest being a good role model now, they all seemed to "outgrow" the snail paced eating at once regardless of age.
ReplyDeleteWow, that would be frustrating! Maybe set a timer for 30 mins. and ask them to see if they can finish before the timer goes off and if they do there will be time for a walk or something fun? Of course, you'd have to do that several nights I am sure before they learn to pick up the pace.
ReplyDeletegood luck!!!
Our dinners aren't too long - 30 minutes max. My kids are pretty quick eaters. When they are both done (within reason) they are able to leave the table while Matt and I linger. I hate long dinners in the summer because the evening is my favorite time of day. What about making lighter, lunch type foods - sandwiches, salads - stuff like that! Or even eating outside for a treat. Giving them that extra incentive to eat up so they can start playing!
ReplyDeleteIf they are hungry, they will eat. Are they having a snack that they enjoy more between lunch and dinner? When my younger children were that age, I couldn't give them snacks, or they wouldn't eat well. Do they eat faster when you are promoting a fun evening activity for when they are done? There's nothing worse than planning and preparing a meal, only to have your children sit there and complain!!
ReplyDeleteOur kids are fairly quick eaters. One, they like food and two, they like food. I keep wanting to linger at the table and talk more, but nope...they dine and dash on me!
ReplyDeleteWhen it's just me and the two littles I talk to them about their day and when it's the whole family it's a pure chaos. Fun times.
thanks for your tips and advice.
ReplyDeleteWe have a strict no snack policy at our house, no food AT ALL between lunch and dinner. Our dinner battles is mostly with my middle child. And it really is a mere battle of will. If I were to give her kidney beans, baked beans, hot dogs, or mac n cheese, she would eat it in no time flat. But b/c the food is not what she wants, she dawdles. I have done the timer thing, the bed without eating thing. No worries to her. She'll even skip dessert. But I fear then that she is winning. She is choosing when and what she wants to eat and isn't obeying. We don't do dessert every day. When we do, if I was to say ok, it's been 25 min. looks like you don't want to eat dessert, then she'd clean her plate in no time flat. I don't want her to obey when it suits her b/c she likes the reward, I want her to obey b/c I told her to eat what I fixed. But, I also don't want to make dinner a daily battle. And yet I don't want to avoid the battle and just make what I know they'll eat either. Anyway, I was just wondering if other people had long meals as well or if it was just us.
ha ha, that last anonymous comment was me... Crystal....oops!
ReplyDeleteOur dinnertime is usually about an hour...sometimes longer. The kids are pretty slow. Our challenge is keeping them from playing with their food. If we would let them, they would have the mommy green bean talking to the baby green beans, diving into the mashed potatoes, etc. Good imaginations plus food can be a dangerous thing!!
ReplyDeleteDo you have something fun that you can do after dinner? We've told the kids that we are going to go for a bike ride afterwards and sometimes that gets them moving. Gosh girl that is a long time!
ReplyDeleteWell, we have done two things that can help us finish up a little more quickly. However, to be honest, we will be sitting there for a while before we realize we have been there way too long. Then, we try one of these two things . . . one night, not too long ago, I told Kelsey she couldn't talk anymore until she started eating. Her mode of procrastination was lots and lots of of talking. That worked. But the thing we do much more frequently is to tell or show Kelsey what she has to eat. This can mean saying, "Four bites of chicken, all your broccoli, etc." I started the number of bites thing with Morgan. She has the illusion of control, but we choose the number of bites. But we also often "portion out" the amount she has to eat before leaving the table. Then she generally just puts it down. She can see it's not everything on her plate, and somewhere along the line, she's made her peace with us being the one to decide the number of bites . . . for what it's worth . . . :)
ReplyDeleteSo I am totally not responding to your question here....but I did notice the lovely picture you picked to go with this post. Rockwell created that picture as a part of a series called "The Four Freedoms" during WWII. This one is called "Freedom from Want." Isn't dinnertime such a great picture of our freedom from want? It also goes well with your blog bling :)
ReplyDeleteNo advice for you. Just wanted to say enjoy that time. It may not be a walk or the park but it sounds lovely. My husband eats dinner with us maybe once or twice a week since he gets home after 8 or 9 (or later) every night. I'm hoping some day we'll be able to eat together!
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