There is an envelope sitting unopened on our kitchen counter. It’s been sitting there sealed tight since January 6th. The contents of this envelope bear great repercussions for our entire family.
Many people question why we even have the envelope. We could have known what was inside of it 8 weeks ago.
But we like to be surprised. (of find some strange joy in self-torture)
So, we turned our heads.
But, then, just for fun, we decided to ask them to put a picture of something (or nothing) in our envelope. That’s right… we could know anytime whether we have 2 boys and 2 girls in our family or 1 boy and 3 girls.
Anytime we wanted we could go to the stack of important papers on our counter (you know those “to be filed” papers hidden behind the computer) and slit it open and know if it is a little boy or little girl that’s been kicking my ribs for the past few weeks.
We have never known before the birth of our first three children and I’ve truly loved being surprised at delivery. I look back at each memory of Scott calling out the baby’s gender fondly. The look in his eyes as he saw our child for the first time and then as I hear him tell me, “It’s a …” was truly priceless and made all the waiting worthwhile to me.
But at the same time, everyone’s surprised, right? It’s just a mater of when you are surprised that’s at issue. It sure would be nice to stock the nursery up with the appropriate gender baby clothes and do a clean sweep of un needed clothes stored in our attic.
But, no, that ship has sailed and we turned our heads, so now, there’s no looking back. (or peeking in the envelope) And thus, the envelope sits rather unceremoniously in our pile of clutter. Sitting as a family around the sonogram screen is one thing, but to just walk over to the counter and open an envelope, seems way too anti-climatic in my opinion.
So, did you choose to be surprised at 20 or 40 weeks? Ever have any regrets?
for our first baby, we chose to wait until she was born.
ReplyDeleteThen, chris really wanted to know for our second. And it's probably good because we both thought that she was a boy, but she wasn't, so we were able to get used to the idea before she was born. Then, with our third, we found out again so that we would know what to do with our house. And since number 4 was a HUGE surprise (I still don't know what malfunctioned!) and Chris had a hard time accepting the fact that we were having a 4th, I would do ANYTHING to help him be excited. So one out of 4, we waited. I like waiting, but my husband likes to know. I'm just better at delayed gratification than he is. he he he! I can't wait to tell you how it goes in delivery this time! And vice versa!
Yay! It worked. I went to check this post out earlier and it froze.
ReplyDeleteYou have to be very strong willed to wait to find out! I could never wait. I wish I could! I'm always amazed when people can wait. But I do like sewing clothes and getting the room ready...especially when I'm in the nesting stage!
Oh...I wish I could say I was! I wanted to know everytime I went to the Dr!! They would try and see before 20 weeks. You are strong girl!
ReplyDeleteWe have done it both ways! We were surprised wtih #1 (Jack), found out at 20 weeks with #2 (Max), and were surprised with #3 (Lincoln). (And, we aren't sure what we're gonna do for #4 - leaning towards surprise) I can honestly tell you that I LOVED it both ways. Being surprised is SO fun in the delivery room, a great "gift" at the end of all that waiting. BUT, I LOVED knowing with Max. It was still a surprise at 20 weeks, and I loved being able to call him by name, dream about how he and Jack would be as brothers, and pick up little boy things for him along the way. I always find it funny when people are super-opinionated about one way or another - like, "Oh, NO! We would NEVER, EVER find out." or as one girl told me at one of my baby showers, "I just like to know because I like to have 'boy' boys, and 'girly' girls." Like, if you don't find out, you'll have weirdos who wear green and yellow for the rest of their lives.
ReplyDeleteEither way, it is such a delight, such a blessing, SO much fun, and I can't wait to hear who this next little one is!! :)
We waited ... and there was that great expectancy that I cannot explain. Plus, there was the bonus of receiving gifts besides cute clothes at baby showers! I literally did not buy diapers, wipes, onesies, burp clothes, receiving blankets, or sleepers for the first year of our daughter's life. And amazingly, when we went to the hospital to have her, the closet was filled with white and yellow and green ... and when we arrived home three days later, it was entirely pink. :) Financially, I really believe we saved a ton of money not knowing ... I can't prove that empirically, but there were so many things we did not buy - cute as they were - because we didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl. Instead, we bought the things that were gender neutral and necessary.
ReplyDeleteI was always sure I would not want to know until delivery, and then as soon as I got pregnant both times I wanted to know ASAP! We still intentionally picked neutral baby gear and nursery decor, but I loved knowing who was in there for the second half of my pregnancies, and calling them by name. But, the nice thing is that you can decide all over again with each pregnancy, so maybe someday we'll choose differently! Luckily, Mike doesn't mind either way.
ReplyDeleteAll 5 were surprises! I loved it that way and would have never changed it. Waiting to find out is what gets me through labor (without drugs), as I am so excited to find out who is inside that the anticipation keeps me going.
ReplyDeleteWe have found out at delivery (N), at the 20 week u/s (G), at a 39 week u/s (E), had the u/s tech tell N who was there for a bladder u/s while I was there for my 20 wk u/s even though we didn't want to know (L), and opened "the envelope" which was tucked under the Christmas tree and been sealed since the u/s 6 or so weeks earlier (I) ... I don't know how we could change things up if we go through it again!
ReplyDeleteHow about, let your 1st or 2nd open for their birthday? And choose whether or not to tell the rest of the circus?
I liked it both ways. Either way, you'll be in love with your baby. I'd rather refer "it" as "he" or "she". That's one thing I don't like about not finding out. But I am still committed to not finding out this time- and I am terrible at surprises! But...... Who are you baby??? I have no idea.
ReplyDeletePoor Sara is beside herself. If she knew I had an envelope, there would be no more secret (unless I got to it first). She'd also take it in and show her class, because they all signed a petition for us to find out (which I cruelly ignored). She also asked Senator Simonaire last week if he could pass a law to make me find out.
20 weeks for us. The Husband wants to know what sort of names we are looking at. I want to dream more clearly of the child I will hold. I think if I was not sure of the gender (I KNEW with both of them from around one month on, No doubt the sonogram just proved to the Husband I was right) already I might wait particularly if I really was hoping for a particular gender. Holding your baby makes their gender an insignificant consideration in light of the little life in your arms. But I could see the heart brake of disappointment before you could hold them.
ReplyDeleteI've only had one, and I found out, so I can't say much about the surprise. However, I can say that we'll be finding out for any more children that we have. I LOVED knowing what the baby inside of me was. I loved that I got to know him, that I spoke to him, knowing his name, and that other people prayed for him by his name from the time he was 20 weeks old. I think for me, especially after the miscarriage, I always have in the back of my mind that the time we have with these precious babies passes by so fast--and, could be gone in a second before we even had a chance to say goodbye. I so wish I knew more about my first baby. So it was very important to me that I knew as much as possible about Sam, because I knew I wasn't guaranteed the time to get to know him after he was born. I think I'll feel the same way about any future babies.
ReplyDeleteWe found out at each ultrasound. I really loved knowing and having a bit of time to bond and adjust to the gender & name before the birth. But, to each her own!
ReplyDeleteWe found out for all three at the ultrasounds. I'm too much of a control freak to wait!
ReplyDeleteI'm way too much of a planner NOT to find out...I liked to have the nursery all prepared, with the baby's clothes washed, folded, sorted, and put away BEFORE adding another one to the mix.
ReplyDeleteWe found out at the ultrasounds for both of ours...just couldn't wait! :)
ReplyDeleteWe found out the gender with both kiddos, and I'm glad we did. But I do see the magic in letting it be a surprise! You're strong! ;0)
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, I don't know how you can not open it! I'm never good with surprises, so I found out what we were having each time! It didn't take the surprise factor away, it was just sooner than later.
ReplyDeleteWe found out for both. I'm like a kid at christmas, I can't wait. I debated waiting for the second ... just to do something different from the first, but alas, I couldn't and i adore the way we found out with both. lots of tears and smiles at 20 weeks. and then it was fun to pick out clothing and things for that particular child. I'm impressed that you can wait.
ReplyDeleteI recently heard of a couple that took their envelop to a baker and asked for a cake to be made according to the gender, either pink or blue then covered with icing so that the surprise came when cutting into the cake! I thought it was a cute idea. You could have a special family meal and party, since you're gonna have cake - if you can't wait. We went for the surprise both times. The ultrasound tech was surprised each time when we said we didn't want to know. I don't think it's very common to wait these days. I just figured, my parents never found out, so why should I? And I had many friends go before me that said the surprise was better. I'm excited for you either way!
ReplyDeleteOh I had to know both times! I wanted to know even before 20 weeks. LOL I needed to give the baby a name. I remember how funny Brett was when the told us the first was a girl. He said, "Look again it might be cold in there." I cried so hard with the first baby and I think I cried even harder with the second baby. Two healthy precious baby girls- how could we be more blessed.
ReplyDeleteI really wanted to know because I wanted to get organized. I was so excited to decorate the nursery. My Mom and I had so much fun picking out all the little girl things. When I found I was pregnant with the second baby I was concerned about the children sharing a room. What if the baby was a boy? How would we turn this ultra girly nursery into a boys space also?
With both of my pregnancies I was on bed rest. I spent a total of six months in bed with the girls. Once 20 weeks hit I knew I needed everything to be in order because any day I would find myself in bed.
We found out w/ # 1, & #3, but not w/ #2. This one will be a surprise. I was thrilled the moment I found out with all. For me, it was actually a bit better to know ahead of time because I was so exhausted and ruined after the birth of #2 that I wasn't as excited as I might have been.
ReplyDeleteBelieve me, I do NOT have the self control to have that answer sitting on my counter top!!