The Lucky Few

“To think that we were just the lucky few
And all along I never even knew” – Bebo Norman

Growing up, I didn’t realize how truly blessed I was.  In fact, I don’t think it was till I went away to college that I truly recognized how good I had it.    I was blessed to grow up in a home with two parents who truly loved each other as well as my brother and I.  And they taught me a lot about what a godly marriage looks like. 

Three lessons on marriage I learned from my parents.

• Divorce is not an option.  The first time I can recall hearing the word divorce, I was in second grade.  I vividly remember a boy in my class sitting with his head down on his desk and when I asked him what was wrong he told me his parents had gotten a divorce.    Shortly after I recall my parents having an argument and I remember knocking on my parent’s door, tears in my eyes as I asked my mom if they were going to a get a divorce.  She got down on her knees, looked in my eyes and said, “Crystal, divorce is not in our vocabulary.  It is not an option for your Dad and I.  We love each other and even though sometimes we’ll disagree and argue, we will never stop loving each other and we will never divorce.”   It’s amazing the feeling of security that conversation gave to me.  Over twenty years later and I can still vividly recall the details of our discussion.
• You must make your marriage a priority.  Growing up my parents sacrificed a lot for my brother and I.  They both worked hard to put us through Christian school.  They attended all of our plays, concerts, and games.  They chaperoned youth group trips and band trips.  It was obvious that they loved and supported my brother and I.  But, they also made it more than clear, that their marriage came first.  They had regular date nights.  They went on trips away without us.  And there were times when my self absorbed teen self would think it a great injustice that they didn’t revolve their entire lives around us.  Poor me had to stay home because my parents had a date.  My mom told me that there would come a day when my brother and I would leave home and her and dad were married for a lifetime.  As much as she loved us, she didn’t want to center her life on us and find herself married to a stranger when we left the nest. 
• Love is a decision, not a feeling.  In high school, I was a hopeless romantic.  I loved those cheesy romantic comedies and dreamed of one day being swept off my feet.  My mom would tell me often, that love is much, more than a feeling.  She warned me there would be days, when I wouldn’t always feel in love, but love was a choice and you can choose love even when you don’t feel it.

Looking back on my childhood I recall my parents stealing kisses, holding hands, and slow dancing in the kitchen.  It wasn’t hard to tell that they loved each other.   And 32 years later, my brother and I are both grown and married, and they love each other still.  In a day and age when marriage is treated lightly, when more than half of marriages fail and many people would choose to cohabitate rather than make a covenanted commitment, I am grateful for the godly model I grew up with and I plan to pass on this legacy to my children.  How I long for them to grow up and say, “To think that we were just the lucky few… And all along I never even knew.”

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

What are you thinking about this week? Why not use your last post of the week to highlight something a bit "deeper" then the average “Momblog” fair?  I’d love to read your thoughts.  Please feel free to write and link up a  “thoughtful” post below.  You can write a new post or link up one you wrote earlier in the week.  Please include a link back to here in your post.