Saying Goodbye

When you get married, you marry more than just your spouse, you marry the whole family.  And in the case of Scott’s grandpa, I sure lucked out. 

I think I was smitten with him the first time I met him at our high school graduation.  I told Scott, “You have a Werther’s Original” grandpa.  I loved that he had a elbow patched sweater.  He just seemed like the classic picture of a grandpa.  Probably because he is the classic picture of a gentleman.

When we were engaged and heading back to college, he told Scott he was sure we’d be using the “armstrong heater” on our way back.  When I asked him what that was he demonstrated by putting his arm around me. 

On our wedding day he greeted us after the ceremony with a hug and then he said, “In case you want to know, I looked at my watch when the preacher pronounced you man and wife… you were official at 4:15.”   I would have never thought to seek out that information and yet I’ve truly appreciated knowing it. 

I can’t really tell you when, but sometime since then, he went from being Scott’s Grandpa, to Grandpa.  I truly couldn’t love him more if he were my own blood.   He has become such an active and vital part of our family.  He is a fabulous great grandpa.  Watching him with my kids has been one of the hugest blessings.  He has played such an active and engaged part of their lives.  He’s been to our house for every Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, kids birthday party, baptism…He’s been to soccer games and baseball games.  He went to the hospital after each kid was born to hold his newborn grandchild.  In fact for child number 3 and 4, he was the one we left the older siblings with when we drove to the hospital in labor.  I loved the way he played with them.  He doesn’t sit on the couch and watch them from a distance.  No, you find him wielding a light saber, holding a sleeping baby, carrying a toddler.

 

I have always appreciated the bond he has had with my oldest daughter. 

On her third birthday she sat on his lap while eating her cake.  There she sat happy as can be while she ate her entire piece of cake.  And there he sat happy as can be while she did.  I do believe it was a good 20 minutes before she finished and then he got his piece. 

When my 1 year old sees him he instantly holds out his hand to slap him five.  He’ll happily crawl on his lap and slap his hand till it goes numb.  Today I actually heard him call him Grandpa when he saw him in his bed.

Earlier this week we went to the nursing home to celebrate his 88nd birthday with him and 5 days later we returned to say goodbye.  As I type this Grandpa is still with us but it has become apparent that his hours with us are very limited.  Scott and I really struggled as to whether or not we take the kids to say goodbye or let their last visit be his birthday party on Sunday.  But, the kids wanted to go and I think they actually needed to go to say goodbye.  They love him and are going to truly miss him.  While we all know he’ll be in heaven soon with Jesus and Great Nana and we are happy that he’ll be out of pain and able to walk around like we remember him doing before his strokes, this process of saying goodbye is very hard because, in the words of my youngest daughter, “I want him here… where I can see him, walking around our house with us.”