When Ya Gotta Go….

The outing started out so beautiful and picturesque.  The drive there was lovely… leaves just starting to change, sipping my pumpkin spice latte, even the clouds looked “fall like” (amazing how everything looks lovely when the kids aren’t requiring you to referee from the drivers seat…thank you Psalty the Singing Songbook)  We got to the farm and the kids happily ate their lunches while I nursed the baby. 

Then we were off to pick apples.  The kids were so enthusiastic, we had 32 lbs picked in less than an hour.  (and that was even with me slowing them down so I could take pictures). 

Since apple picking went so well, I decided to prolong our afternoon and head to the pumpkin patch. 

Clearly I did not heed the age old advice to quit while I was ahead.

The baby fell asleep on our way to the pumpkin patch, so I decided instead of wearing him, to just carry him.  (mistake number 1)  The kids grabbed a wheel barrow and eagerly ran off in search of the great pumpkin.

Then my three year old started doing the potty dance. 

“Really, now?”

“Yes, Mommy… I have to go potty…” said with increased dancing and high pitched voice of urgency. 

So, we abandon the wheel barrow of pumpkins in search of a potty.  I ask the dude at the check out booth if they had a port a pot nearby.  He looks at me with a blank stare and says No.  I just stare back at him as I try to figure out what we are going to do.  (Why, oh why, did I take the porta potty out of the mini van?  Is it ok to just have her go in the grass?) Then someone in line says she saw one on the other side of the parking area (thank goodness for fellow moms). So, we scrambled to the port a potty.  Of course it’s like herding kittens to get them over there. I tell the oldest 2 to sit outside with their backs touching the sides (so I know they aren’t wondering into the road), while I help the 3 yr old pull down her pants. 

And then I discover we didn’t make it to the potty in time and it was way, way worse than wet undies. 

Realizing that I can’t deal with this one handed, I hand the baby (who of course is no longer sleeping) to my oldest (reminding the older two to stay seated against the wall of the port a pot)  and do my best to peel her pants off of her, without getting more of it all over the place.  I then attempt to clean her legs, feet, bottom, and the floor and seat of the port a pot with dry toilet paper.  (what I would have given for baby wipes right then) Meanwhile I keep peeking out the door to make sure the other 3 are ok while also trying to calm my very distressed three year old, and I see two older men waiting across the way.  I could tell they were obviously waiting for the port a pot, and they didn’t appear creepy but rather were graciously trying to give me space. 

With my 3 yr old and I cleaned up as best as I could, I was now left with my daughter in her bright red shirt wearing her brown cowboy boots and NOTHING on in the middle.  Quite a look!

How in the world am I going to get her back to our minivan?   I kept looking at her, looking at the baby, can’t really carry both (especially since she wasn’t exactly clean) and looking across the road wishing those men were moms.  I actually said out loud to the kids, “What am I going to do, What am I going to do?”  I try having my older daughter stand in front of her and my son behind her… perhaps we can make a human shield and walk her across the field.  And then I notice my 6 yr old is wearing a jacket. 

HOORAY!!  We’ve caught a break!

I quickly tell him to take his jacket off and we tie it around her waist and make what feels like the longest walk ever back to our van.   I apologize to the men who were waiting.  They graciously tell me not to worry, they had kids too.    We’re walking as fast as we can when we pass a family getting out of their van… I do my best not to make eye contact and to just keep walking when my son and daughter shout, “Mom, MOM, the jacket fell off!”  I quickly fix it and rush her into our minivan. 

As I begin scourging around the floor of the van, I am actually, for once,  grateful for the mess that is our van.  I have no idea why it is there,but I find a skirt (with shorts attached) and quickly have her step into it. 

We are in business!! 

Back to the pumpkin patch we head!!

Notice the before and after outfits?

The day was salvaged as we headed home with 44lbs of pumpkins (I had no idea how quickly you can rack up the pounds with pumpkins) , 32lbs of apples, 4 content kids, one happy Mommy, and a blog post to top it all off! 

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